Hey! Let’s talk about ALEC

• About three-quarters (75%) of suicides in the UK are by men.
• Many men don’t reach out when they’re struggling – because of shame, fear, “having to be strong”, or just not knowing how.
• Here’s the thing: You don’t need to “have it sorted”. You don’t need to be a mental-health expert. You just need to reach out.

So yes: this month (and every month) we’re going to give a bit of extra attention to men’s mental health.

Okay, but who’s ALEC?

ALEC stands for:

• Ask
• Listen
• Encourage action
• Check in

Think of ALEC like a “chat-toolkit” when you suspect someone might be going through stuff.

A – Ask

Start with something simple. Maybe: “Hey mate, you alright?” or “You seem quieter than usual—everything OK?”
The key: be genuine. No massive speech required. Just a “How’s it going?” can open the door.

L – Listen

When they start talking (and they might or might not, be patient) …
Give full attention. No judgement. Don’t immediately try to “fix” it. Just be with them in what they’re saying - Sometimes that’s the hardest part
Don’t talk about yourself, even if you have had a similar experience.

E – Encourage action

Once the chat is happening, you can suggest a next step. Not heavy. Could be “Fancy grabbing a coffee later?” or “Maybe talk to someone – GP, mate, someone.” It’s about nudging, not forcing.
Action can mean different things depending on the person and what they’re comfortable with.

C – Check in

Don’t treat it like a one-off. After the initial chat, follow up. Send a message. Ask again. Meet up. “How’s things this week?”

It shows you mean it. You’re still there.

Why does ALEC matter?

• Because men struggle.
• Because silence and “just getting on with it” can be dangerous.
• Because you, or someone you know, might be one conversation away from feeling less alone - when you reach out it does (and always will) help.

Use the ALEC steps, you don’t need to be perfect—you just need to try.
Also: just thinking about someone’s mental health and doing this means you’re showing strength, not weakness.

Resources & links

Here are some places you or a mate can check out:

• Movember – tons of advice and tools for men’s mental health: ask, chat, use ALEC. https://uk.movember.com/mens-health/mental-health Movember+1
• Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – for men in crisis / feeling suicidal, chat-services etc. https://www.thecalmzone.net Wikipedia
• Andy’s Man Club – peer-to-peer groups across the UK for men to talk with other men. https://andysmanclub.co.uk Wikipedia

So, here’s the deal: This month, pick one person you’ll do the ALEC thing with.

Drop a “How you doing mate?”. That text, that coffee, that check-in could make more difference than you think.

It’s not about grand gestures. It’s about: Being human. Reaching out. Saying “You’re not alone.”

And if you’re the one feeling it – you deserve that same kindness. Start by asking yourself: how are you? Even if you answer “I’m not ok” — that’s fine.

That’s honest. That’s real.

Let’s make it a good month. Let’s just talk.

Additional sources:

• Trafalgar Toud2rs+1
• Kaplan+2Innovative Trials+2

Author: Len Bridgeman